Christmas, Cuppas and Happiness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know it's been a while since I last blogged but lots happened ok! When I say lots happened I mean that lots happened to other people and I talked to them about it. Nothing happened to me as I have spent the majority of the Christmas holidays on my sofa with a bowl of chocolates. Living it LARGE.

I, for one, had a very merry Christmas. It was a bit quiet, my nan went up to visit my cousins in London over Christmas so this year we had Christmas breakfast at our house, then we mooched about, went down to the Christmas swim..45 minutes late..so did a U-turn and went back home! My bestest present was probably my new pair of Doc Martens which are BEAUTIFUL they are blue with flowers on and they are so pretty I could frame them. Saying this I was the one who bought them (with my parent's credit card of course, it's Christmas!) so I did know what was coming. But they're still lush! I also got a Starbucks mug, which for some unknown reason makes me tea taste even better.
To let you know I like my tea, very strong and no sugar, NONE. One person once said that she likes her tea milky and with six sugars. SIX?!?!? Obviously I don't need anymore sugars because I am sweet enough..
I do enjoy a good cup of tea though and at the moment with a cheeky mince pie. I will miss mince pies alot. I have eaten a considerable amount this Christmas holidays. it's been wonderful.
And then New Year's Eve I stayed in and drank wine with the family and watched Jool's Hootenanny (which I love) I could've gone out and gone wild and partied, but i'm just an anti social git, so I didn't:)

My sister and I watched Pitch Perfect twice (not on christmas Eve, we're not that bad, throughout the holidays you div). It is a brilliant film! It has a great soundtrack and I recommend it for everyone. Also if you are one those people who are like 'I don't like sing-a-along type films, Les Miserables looks awful' then get off my blog, find a whale and jump into it' mouth. Films like Pitch Perfect are excellent, and that is final.

Well well well, I honestly thought lots had happened to me but actually, nothing has!
On New Year's Day I read through my old diaries. Throughout 2011 I wrote in one religiously, and it was a great year! There was Guide Camp and I was completely in love and everything was just happy happy happy, but 2012 like woah. For one, I hardly ever wrote in it (which was probably a good thing as reading back through would only depress my poor little brain.) But when I wrote on New Year's Day about the past year I found that it had actually been the worst in my life, so far. I am only sixteen so y'know, it has time to get better. I won't go into details (because I don't want to) but I am positive and 2013 will be amaze-balls.
However, what was not amazeballs was The Impossible. I see you looking with blank faces at this. Isn't this film supposed to be the best yet? Based on a real life story. yes, the story is amazing, yes the acting, cough Ewan Mcgregor cough, was exceptional. But it was so emotional. and traumatic. and emotional. And from about 45 minutes i was crying. And I don't just sit there and have a little river of tears falling and no one really notices OH HELL NAW I shake and my mouth goes and I am gone like a gone thing.
There were also small children running around the cinema like it was a fucking fairground, and I hate it when this happens. I was so prepared to go down to them and throw them against the cinema screen and batter them and tell them that they're adopted. However I didn't, not because I'm a good person, because that would take effort, and I was crying.

I also know that this year I'm going to be a much stronger person. Mainly because I have done things already this year that i'm proud of. Keeping my mouth shut being one of them! I don't like telling people how I feel, I mean, if I really need to I will, and if it helps their situation i will. But apart from that? I'm good. I don't like telling people my feelings if it's going to make them unhappy. And I guess I have a couple of friends who I go out of my way for to make them happy. Is it always healthy? Definitely not. But does it make me happy? Yes, because they're happy, and when one person's happy it radiates onto everybody else.
And another thing, I don't like men. I'm not coming out as a lesbian, just at the moment, I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to be talking to anyone, i don't want to be flirting with anyone. I get lonely yes, but it's come the point when I can't see myself with anyone else and I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm just so absolutely awesome I don't need a man holding me down. Or up, whatever floats ya boat..
But in this day and age I sometimes feel that people don't understand this. That no one's ever really been alone because they are so obsessed with getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, with having to talk to/have SOMEBODY. I don't understand why this is. Because two is better than one? Or because everybody wants to be in love because 'love is all you need.' I see these young people saying they're in love, which is lovely, I mean if you're happy, whatever. But when people move on from partner to partner so quickly that I haven't even finished a cheesecake, that's not healthy. I'm never sure if it's the way they have been brought up or what, but you can't just start seeing loads of people one after the other, because surely then relationships will just be a routine? Having a girlfriend/boyfriend won't mean anything to you and you'll just take it completely for granted.

ok, so this is it.
WAH! All I thought then was 'So this is christmas' and it's not Christmas anymore and I'm going back to school tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I went to sleep before midnight. I can't remember the last time I had a proper meal before dinner. I am going to die. that is it. Goodbye cruel world, until next time.