Aloha my little tiddlywinks!
I am not going to lie to you in this post (not that I ever have, I have always been 100% truthful because I love you all so much) and I simply cannot make the tone seem happy, when I am not.
All in all, I am not my best self at the moment, and that's okay, but I'm just letting you know now.
To start on a happy note, however, I am in university and absolutely adoring it. Not only is my university basically the most beautiful building in the country (yes I will brag, its amazing) but my course is so on point it is hard to believe. I'm not going to pretend that I am the keenest student on my course, I am known to turn up with moments to spare while eating a burger because I've only woken up half an hour ago (which is really terrible because this is normally at 1 o'clock lectures..)
I do also have the odd lecturer who makes me want to STAB MYSELF but all in all, lectures are good.
I'm also dead lucky to have been allocated a pretty big room so I can dance about to my hearts delight and also be able to harbor a fugitive if I wanted too. Have also made lots of friends as everyone is so so lovely and the girl opposite me and down one is bae. That is it, she's awesome, we've even started saying the same things at the same time because we are so in sync. We also love food a lot, there's really nothing not to like about her.
I can't even begin to explain how much you should go to university, you do actually have to do some work but mainly I just piss about and go out and it's so much fun and so lovely to be away from home and gain some independence - I have actually done my own washing and not shrunk anything. Of course I do miss home and it's difficult as I go to uni in Surrey but home is South Wales so train tickets are not cheap but the people you're with here make it bearable.
Although some people do get right on my tits. Literally, first week and I was annoyed with people. My patience is basically nil.
Reasons why I'm unhappy at RHUL right now is because I missing home and cuddles from my Mutti and Vati and this is mainly because I am now a single pringle.
Shock horror, I know.
I was on the receiving end of the deal so not gonna lie y'all, things are preeeeetty shite right now.
It was a shock if I'm honest and made me buck up my ideas a lot. I'm also now a proper cynic.
When people say they love you and you can work through anything? They don't mean it, and if you're not 100% sure about it, just don't say it. Don't carry on saying that you'll be together forever when you know you're not going to be, basically, don't lie. Tell your other half how it is and how you're feeling. And when you break up, drinking a bottle of wine a night is entirely underrated.
For the last week it's been completely surreal that Rhys and I aren't together any more and I've probably handled it badly (don't stalk them on twitter) but what are you supposed to do when you're falling apart inside and the other person has just been given a new lease of life? There's a million things you want to tell them and ask them, but you don't talk anymore so it's impossible. And although you want to talk you know you shouldn't because it'll only be more painful.
Although I don't blame him for breaking it off - why be unhappy? - it doesn't stop feeling hurt by the person you love. So just don't do it guys. Don't fall in love, don't give your heart to someone. Just be independent and wonderful.
If someone has just broken up with you, cry, Just cry all the time. Once you've stopped crying, sleep it off and/or drink. That is the only sensible advice I can give. Nothing else works.
Disclaimer - this may go on for many weeks.
Apart from these two things in my life nothing else has been happening particularly. Kathryn has been an absolute ray of sunshine and don't know what I would do without her, all around wonderfully weird person who I would do practically anything for.
On Saturday we are planning to leave Surrey and head into London and go to Camden Market which I am SO EXCITED FOR! Probably going to have a hipster 5 minutes and everyone has told me it is vastly overrated but I do not care and think it will be amazing. Also need to get my sister a birthday present while I'm there.. Her birthday is today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUMPKIN.
I'm also going to see Mallory Knox at the end of the month. Definitely in two halves about this one. I didn't like what I saw on telly at Reading this year but some of the stuff I've listened to sounds alright.. will have to keep you posted.
Take care all, drink and be merry!
#relationships #alcohol #university #birthday #malloryknox #blog #blogging #thankyouforreading
