Shopping in Windsor and Giving Relationship Advice

About 10 minutes ago I was reading a blog post in which the (rather eloquent) writer said that the blogs she loves the most is where she can follow the person's family's ups and downs and personal life etc etc.

This explains a lot about why my mother's passing is my most read post.

I wouldn't say it's because people are nosy, they just like to invest time in someone they can actually relate to.

I am definitely one for this. Blogs all about hauls and yoga classes do not interest me, give me some nitty gritty! Maybe it's because I completely, 100%, lack any sense of the mysterious. I am ridiculously open about my life and would love to be a really sweet, shy, cute girl that everyone thinks is adorable but in reality I swear like a sailor and can probably shout louder than any of you readers. 

On my tumblr I follow this girl who writes a lot about her sex life and gives tips and things like that and I often scroll through and read absolutely everything. Okay I'm a little bit nosy. But people's sex lives are so bloody interesting! I feel more like if I met her I could hold a conversation with her - obviously not about sex, what is sex? I have no idea - but you understand what I mean.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Just some thoughts.

Other thoughts in my life. Relationships, 

Can we all just bear in mind that these are just thoughts. I see no point in getting involved in someone else's problems until they ask me for my help, or see no point in telling one party what the other said. Why stir up shit?

I don't understand why people find relationships so difficult.

You like the girl, you ask her out, you're together, happy days.

However, for some, this part must be made as difficult as humanely possible. Someone in my university does not understand that once you have been for a date with a guy (but are not in a relationship yet) you don't still play hard to get. He's got you. That's that, don't make his little legs run anymore! If you didn't like him on the date - tell him. Don't procrastinate and lead him on. Also, don't be embarrassed to tell people you're going on a date with him, If you are lying and saying you're going on a date with a second year, this whole relationship thing really isn't going to work out for you..

When it comes to the actual relationship, here's some advice from someone who is single and probably shouldn't be giving advice, but it's free. So take it.

- Pick your battles. There's no need to argue over every little thing. He wants you to order for him? No big deal, you have to speak more words. He doesn't want to go shopping with you? Go by yourself, you're an independant woman! Both of you don't want to shop? Online ordering is a thing. These are obviously rubbish examples but y'know, save arguments for the big things that really matter to you or your relationship will already be crumbling from all the insignificant things you've been bickering about.

- Don't go to sleep on an argument. This carries on from the last point and I think I mentioned that my mum ingrained it into us to do. What if one of you dies in the night?! You don't want the last thing you said to be hurtful. Also, you won't sleep well with an argument sitting on your subconscious.

- Tell them how you feel. If you feel it's just feels like a friendship and there's a lack of romance. If it's the end. If you want to be together. If you love them. Fucking tell them.

- Don't be a dick. Why is this so difficult in so many relationships? Albeit Rhys and I broke up, but we were never dicks to each other. We never purposely tried to hurt each other and we always knew where we stood with each other. I think people could learn a lot from this. Be there for each other, trust one another, don't purposely make them out to look like idiots on social media or not reply to texts or anything like that. Whatever can be classed as a 'dick move', steer clear of it. If I see you making a dick move, don't think I won't sit you down and call you out on it,

Lastly, I went on a proper big haul today (might be yesterday, depending when I post this.) 

If anyone wants a good place to shop I suggest Windsor. It's small and picturesque and close to the castle. Shops include - Cath Kidston / Topshop / H&M / Zara / New Look / Hotel Chocolat / Waterstones / Paperchase / LUSH / Jo Malone / Pandora / Jigsaw and Bobbi Brown.

I was in seventh heaven.

So, to finish this rambling post, have some pictures of what I bought for myself. I would love to upload some of the things I brought my dad and sister because they are adorable/wonderful but I know they read this, so I won't.

Take care all of you, much love!

(For those who wish to know - Black jeans/grey jumper/grey skirt/beanie from
                                                      H&M

                                                  Dogtooth leggings from New Look

                                                  Dark green dress from TopShop

                                                  Essie Nail Polish in Stylenomics no. 232 from
                                                      Boots)


#blog #blogging #blogger # shopping #windsor #relationship #thankyouforreading

Rocky Horror Picture Show and Finding Writing Therapeutic

It's a Monday night.
Life seems a little surreal and my mother's death sort of hit me yesterday, I've eaten my body weight in chocolate and decided, for a bit of therapy, to write a new post.
I've cried for the best part of the day and being the fickle person I am, I'm bored of that now. So here's a (hopefully) happier post of things that I have done recently that have been quite top notch.

Before I begin I just want to say a bloody huge thank you to everyone who has facebooked/tweeted/dm'd me with their condolences to my family and sent flowers and cards and the like. It is so so appreciated and a little overwhelming to see how many people care! Faith in humanity and of people has definitely been restored. Also a cheer to everyone who has read my last blog post, read it here - A Post About My Mother - it's had 171 views, which is my most yet and I'm dead chuffed about it.

So, what have I been up to my little chummly-wummlies?!
Before heading off to the great big world of University I had been to two gigs (and two festivals) but in the past month or so I seem to have doubled that.
I have now been to four gigs, that is doubling yes? Who knows, I have completely given up on maths and it seems even simple maths confuses me.
Anywho. Benjamin (who was my chummy in YNOT if you are avid readers) has begun to think that seeing as I live close to London I am now free accommodation and gig buddy, I would definitely complain if I hadn't enjoyed the gigs he'd dragged me along to so much. The first was Mallory Knox (which I was apprehensive about) and was in a gay bar which only held 300 people so was very intimate. It was a new album release show (album called 'Asymmetry', check out The Remedy and Heart and Desire) and the lead singer is BLOODY GORGEOUS And he looked right at me, I am blushing right now.So I thoroughly enjoyed that, I was also possibly a wee bit drunk.
The second gig was in KOKO, which is a converted theatre so also a cool venue. Here we saw Gerard Way. My year 10 My Chemical Romance fangirl had the time of her life. It was great fun and the support acts were bloody amazing. Album isn't as good as MK's though. I may also have been a tad drunk at this gig.. When I actually know the songs that will be played at a gig I will go sober!
I also took a hell of a lot of snapchats (rosenbergo if you want to add me) because who doesn't love a good selfie?!

I then did some dragging of my own (not with Benjamin) and took my friends to see a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show in the Royal Albert Hall. It was one of the best night's EVER.
To begin with we paid 15 quid for circle seats and were then reseated to two boxes next to each other *squeal* and then the actress who plays Magenta in the film (my favourite character) came and did a little introduction! *even bigger squeal*
I didn't dress up properly, just fishnets, black dress and shit loads of eyeliner but some people went ALL OUT. Best dressed award goes to the lad in suspenders and a thong, stupendous stuff.
After the screening then we stood by the ice-rink outside the National History Museum with chip butties and waited for people to fall over on the ice. Nothing like watching the foolish and in love injure themselves to end the night.
If you haven't seen Rocky Horror then I can't emphasise enough how much you should watch it, it will give you a whole new lease of life. Going to watch a screening/production is even better because everyone shouts things out and get up and dances to Time Warp and oh man, It's awesome.

However, I think it was the following night that my friend got hit by a car..
Fortunately it bumped her leg and she took a bit of a tumble so was alright, just shaken up. People are dicks though as the driver didn't even stop.
Sad it happened to her as well. She's the cutest little thing and was on her way to a Christian meeting.. Although she still doesn't believe me that God has pretty much left us to it now. There's really nothing he can do to save us.
She looked at me like I was an idiot and went to bed.

That's about it really. I don't really have any short notes apart from watching a lot of films and most things reminding me of my mum. It's nice though, I feel like she's living things with me - such as Rocky Horror. Just saying, if you're coming to the funeral, it's not a black affair. Wear whatever is colourful and makes you feel happy or you'll look like a bit of a tool.
Or, if you're like me, more of a tool than usual!

Take care my loverlies. Surround yourself with people who care about you, try and appreciate at least one thing a day and remember to check out those Mallory Knox songs!

Much love xx



#blog #blogging #blogger #monday #rockyhorror #royalalberthall #gigs #malloryknox #gerardway #iceskating #friends #thankyouforreading

A Post About My Mother

This is not a happy post.
I know that's a truly terrible way to start a blog post and many of you will click off now and that's completely okay. I don't want anyone to feel like they have been tricked into reading what is normally babble on an ordinary life and is now suddenly rather morbid.

Some of you might have known my mother, you might have had that privilege - I know that I was certainly privileged to be her (younger) daughter.
From the past tense you may have gathered that my mother is no longer with us. Unfortunately for all of us that loved her, she passed away on the 6th of November at quarter to 5 in the evening. She had cancer.
I know I want to write about it but I just don't know how to and feel that nothing will do her justice and so if this post becomes completely incomprehensible, I apologise.

I hope that no one has to see their mother (or father for that matter) deteriorate and die in front of their eyes. It is heartbreaking. I can't explain how it feels to lose someone who you love most in the world and watching the people that love her come to terms with the fact that we will have to begin getting up in the morning without her. Sitting with your mother while she dies, telling her you love her for the last time, leaving the room so that she can be taken away from you (in body though, not in spirit) is all very surreal. In all honesty, it's still surreal now. I half expect her to walk down the stairs and tell us to stop sitting on the sofa and to help her around the house or when I start crying I want to ring her and tell her how I feel. Although I know that one day her phone number will no longer be in use and I'll have to delete her number off my mobile - but that won't be for a while.

I'll miss her of course. I often think about what it would be like to lose her at a different age. At a younger age I suppose a mother is still often the person who lays down the rules, you love them just as much but you can't haven't established a mature relationship with them. My father and Auntie find it difficult because they knew Mum for so long, they simply can't imagine life without her. The memories flood them completely. I'm very lucky that my mother and I were so close. In the last three years we hardly argued, I told her absolutely everything. She was one of best and closest friends and I know that some people don't have that with their parents, something that I can't completely comprehend. Now that she's gone I appreciate that she made my sister and I become close friends and have a strong bond and that she never allowed my father and I to go to bed on an argument and made sure that I knew that I can talk to him (and my sister) about anything and everything. All in all, I'm bloody lucky my family is so close.
But having now established that mature bond makes her passing even harder. I'm angry. I'm angry she left us and I'm so fucking angry that I didn't get to spend more time with her and get to know her even better, I'm grateful of all the time we spent together but now think of everything I wanted to do and now unfortunately can't. She won't be at my graduation or be a grandmother, I won't be able to pay for my father and her to go to Venice (although I'll still try and pay off his mortgage,) I won't be able to give her surprise visits from university. I'm angry, and devastated, that I'm only 18 and now have to live without a mother.

So yes, I'll miss her. Holy fuck I think we all will. I'll miss her waking me up in the morning by opening the curtains with a cup of tea in hand and then sorting out the dirty washing (probably complaining I haven't put it in the bag.) I'll miss family cuddles on a Sunday morning. I'll miss her cuddles full stop. I'll miss her crying at everything little thing. I'll miss her mannerisms. I'll miss her badgering my father to take his vitamins. I'll miss her asking me to take the crystals outside and helping me with flute scales. I'll miss her getting along with my friends and being incredibly blunt and embarrassing. I'll miss her being proud of me at everything I do. I'll miss her mutley laugh or whenever I was annoyed at her she would make fun of me which made me even more angry but at least made me smile. I'll think of her when I see a 17 year old girl holding her mother's hand, just because she knows she likes it. I'll miss her when I smell Dolce Vita by Christian Dior. I'll miss her on Christmas day when there are no arguments about the lack of charge in the video camera. I'll probably miss her every single day. But I'll smile and know that she loved me, she loved all of us very dearly and that nothing we can do can ever stop her really being with us.

But this has taught me that life is far too fucking short and to be grateful for every little thing we have. Don't hold grudges, there's no point. Fall in love as much as possible and tell the person you love that you love them every single day because you don't know when that person might not be there anymore. For god's sake - and I can't express this enough - tell your parents that you love and appreciate them. Just tell them. Do it now. Right now.
I know my dad and sister will be reading this and so I just want to say that I love you both an inexpressible amount and that we were so lucky to have known mummy and that every day I feel grateful to have you in my life.

I am sorry if anyone cried reading this, I know I cried when typing it.
Mum, if you're sitting on my shoulder and reading this while I'm typing it (which I hope you are), I love you, I will always love you,




#mum # mummy #mother #death #appreciative #love #always #blog #blogging #blogger #thankyouforreading