For someone who doesn't like to take shit off anyone, and if I have a problem with them tell them they're being a dick, I often find myself allowing boys to be mean to me.
Girls, don't let boys be mean to you. Never worth it, it's due to their own problems but will undoubtedly be made out to be your fault.
For some reason though, I always apologise as though it is my fault. Why on earth I do this I have no idea. I wonder if it's a British thing as the British apologise for everything and anything. No clue as to why.
I mainly think it's because I have a weird complex that makes me terrified of losing anyone I feel is remotely close to me.
Just to let you all know - that complex is bullshit. If they really like you they won't put you through shit and won't ask you to. You don't need a fella to define you, you don't need the hassle of them being mean to you and when feeling annoyed/stressed at these fellas I recommend playing Jamie T. really loudly through your ipod/music playing device.
As a girl I have written this for girls but just switch the words around and it applies to boys as well.
I clearly never begin a blog when I'm in a particularly normal/emotions are stable mood. Fortunately I tend to write lists (love a good list) of items to include in a post so hopefully the following topics will be emotionally-stable.
I don't know why people think things change, I feel like everything seems to change but really it doesn't. You think you've got a new significant other on the scene and everything is so entirely wonderful but in reality, it's the same emotions as you felt with the last person it;'s just a different person you're sharing the emotions with. Maybe what I should say is that things change, but you don't really. You're stuck feeling the same feelings as you always have, just directed at different people. This is tiring. I'm so incredibly fickle with my emotions because I get bored of being annoyed/sad/infuriated etc if I feel it too much.
This is probably just me being very weird and no one else feels like this.
I think I'm normally happy around people - I'm a happy soul really. Probably why I find myself apologising if people are mean to me if because I just can't be bothered to argue, bored of being irritated when being happy is so much easier
I've rambled and made no sense but what I meant was that I'm stuck in a very tiring loop of nothing ever changing. I'm not saying I want this circle to end or I'm suddenly going to change (as Pete Wentz says "baby, seasons change but people don't.") It's simply an observation on my life.
You may start thinking about it harder now and realise that I am, in fact, correct.
The only exception to this rule is grief. That's just fucking overwhelming and something I try and push out of my body as I feel myself drowning in it. Which is good really because I'm pretty sure that after a month a lot people think you're supposed to be over it anyway.
In my list I now have (it's in no particular order but y'know), I now have "things that make me feel festive." However, as Christmas has now been and gone I think I'll give that one a miss..
If you wish to know though, my Christmas was lovely. I always feel especially appreciative for my family at Christmastime but even more so this year. We were unstressed, drank far too much alcohol and watched lots of films. We cheered on the Queen as she said her speech and pretended to be excited as we opened the presents we had given to other family members to buy for ourselves (full marks Rosenbergs.) Also happy days was the annual Christmas Swim. For those of you who don't live by the sea - it must be awful for you - but you also miss out on a Christmas Swim. This, as the name suggests, is when some crazy insane people go for a little swim in the sea on Christmas morning and lots more other people stand and laugh at them and drink. I have always been, and will always be, in the drinking and laughing crowd.
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. Remember not to let people be mean to you and to listen to Jamie T,
Much love xx
